Trials

This is going to be a long post probably with no pictures. I don't usually read these on other peoples blogs, so I won't be offended if you don't read mine. I just need to write things down. This last month has been full of trials for me. I think, and this is my personal opinion, law school in itself is a trial. Cory and I had been having a tough time financially and the financial aid people at UofH or just, well....idiots! And then having Grant come early, with all of the stuff that comes with that, I just felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with bills that had to be paid, and Christmas coming up.Overwhelmed with finding babysitters for my son so I could drive the 20 minute drive to the hospital to feed Grant. Overwhelmed with making sure I was back in time to get Aurora to school and to pick Cory up from the bus stop, only to have rush through dinner to return to the hospital. Missing a week of reading stories and saying prayer with my family. I longed to be with Grant all day long but felt a sense of guilt of leaving Noah with someone different everyday, he needed me too. My heart was being tugged a million different ways and I must admit it did hurt. I just couldn't understand why Heavenly Father would put us through these trials. I felt like we were doing so well. Was he really there? Was he really listening to my prayers? I had been praying so hard for help. Then on my way to the hospital one day I listened to a song that made me change my perspective. Here are the words:
The Storm is rolling in
And you're wondering where He is
As the billows are tossing high
You feel alone
But He truly knows
And even when you're in the dark
He's there, right where you are

Hold on
Even when your eye's can't see
Your destiny
He still believes
Be strong
He can see tomorrow's change
He is the surest way
Keep the faith

He sees the daily grind
And He feels each tear you cry
He understands your heart
He never forgets
the child that is His
Nothing escapes His view
He's there, He's pulling your you

He was helping me, and so many different ways. I had help from the wonderful people around me, from the phone calls, hugs, and meals. I was getting help in a way that wasn't as obvious as the tangiable and that was in my faith. He was helping increase my faith and in my testimony. And reminding me that we need to rely on Him and it is Him that helps us through those tough moments. He knows us, he feels our pain, and it is through Him that we can heal. Cory and Ben had given Grant a blessing in the NICU on a wed night. That same night his oxygen was decreased by half and the next day he was completely off. That next day I was finally able to hold him and he came two days after that. It wasn't that I didn't have a testimony, but I felt like I was a little off course. Having heavenly father bless Grant and heal him strengthened the testimony that I already had. What a wonderful thing the Priesthood. I truly feel blessed! I can't deny that the power of the priesthood is real and the we have a loving heavenly father that truly listens and answers our prayers!
To all of those that helped me last week when I really needed someone and to those who brought meals, gave prayers and hugs, I can't thank you enough. You have no idea what your friendship means to me and I am so great full for you all!
Sorry for such the long post but I needed to post it....